I have heard it said that fame is the most addictive of all drugs. I have been skeptical about this, but Elizabeth Holmes’ ongoing PR saga makes me wonder if it is, in fact, true.

Holmes has appeared in People magazine to tell us that prison is “hell and torture,” in the same way that one might say “butt and ass” or “dick and cock.” The point of hell, for those of you who are not up on Christian theology, is torture. That’s what it’s for.

Holmes is in prison for defrauding investors at her company Theranos. She fought tooth and nail, every step of the way, to avoid this. First, she insisted on her innocence (and even testified in her own defense). Then, after the trial, she appealed, trying to stay out of prison. During that process, she was fawningly profiled by The New York Times, as part of an image rehabilitation campaign: don’t call her Elizabeth, she’s Liz now.

The People profile reuses many of the New York Times’ glamour shots, which makes sense: it’s hard to get photos of inmates. But even if Holmes is inside, her publicist is working overtime. As in the The Times’ profile, the emphasis is on Holmes as a mother, and how hard it is for her to be away from her children. “I’m not the same person I was back then,” Holmes tells People, vaguely saying that “there are things I would have done differently.” She still insists Theranos was a failure, not a fraud. Girlie, this one’s over. We all heard you lie.

You know, I might have managed her image differently. For starters, I likely would have waited a few more years before trying to seek redemption. That gives people time to forget things like the grueling hours she expected from employees, the misdiagnoses of (variously) HIV and miscarriage, and — obviously — all the lies. It also gives Holmes more do-gooder accomplishments to tout, and maybe some more secondary sources for interviews to say what a nice lady she is. I might even try to talk her into admitting the thing we all know, that she engaged in fraud, so she can finally have some kind of credibility.

But it seems Holmes can’t stomach waiting, or telling the truth about Theranos. So she’s telling People stories about saving her breast milk so that she can feel a connection to her child. There is also this assertion, which I find myself curious about: “Later, Holmes spoke to the prison’s warden about allowing women to breastfeed privately and authorities eventually built multiple lactation rooms in the housing units in 2023.” Am I to believe that Holmes has so much sway in a prison that she can get facilities built? Or were those facilities already planned? It’s not clear from People‘s accounting.

I’m also not clear if the publicist is deliberately selecting incurious reporters, the ones who are easiest to play, or if doing any actual work seems like it is beyond the remit of People, but in some sense, it doesn’t matter. She can call herself Liz if she likes. She’ll always be Elizabeth Holmes to me.